Public Display of Affection (PDA):

#AirBlue couple kissing on flight incident is just like many other occasions when our intellectuals and activists are divided into two groups. One in support and one against. It seems like we are stuck between what is right and what is indecent for our society.

We often see our social media fled with posts in support of the idea that “everyone is free to display there affection and practice life the way they want”. “Hamari state kon hoti hai kisi k pyar ko indecent bolne wali” or “Two people’s love doesn’t hurt anyone else, so what’s the problem?”. Some even go far in debate and start saying “rapes rokne pe tawajja do ye chotay issues hain inhain chor do”.

Let me break it down for you to the simplest fractions, maybe we’ll be able to understand the issue better and then form our reaction accordingly.

1) According to Wikipedia: “What is an acceptable display of affection varies with respect to culture and context.”

2) There is a concept called “Consent to witness” which we need to understand. If something is happening in front of us and we are not comfortable in watching, it means that we don’t consent to witness that activity.

Now for some societies, having sex in public might be a very acceptable thing, and for some, prolonged kissing must be deemed appropriate and people around can easily mind their own business. But for some societies, hugging or even holding hands might be an issue because of the cultural construct. Different cultures offer different upbringing and bar of hormonal arousal upon witnessing any affectionate activity is different for all the inhabitants of different lands.

According to a relationship coach interviewed by Hindustan Times “A quick kiss, not-prolonged hugs and putting arm around the neck is deemed appropriate PDA for the people of Mumbai.

My point over here is, that it doesn’t really depend on what you think is appropriate that you start practicing and start supporting, instead it is what the 95% of the population consents to witness. “No one is an Island” and we have to adhere to the societal norms and constructs while doing any “Public” act. Private main jo marzi karo kis ne roka hai


Author Shorwala

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